We're doing Danton's Death this semester, and I got the part of one of the prostitutes, as well as a couple of other minor characters. The play was written in 1835, and is about the aftermath of the French Revolution in the late 1700's. What's so cool about it is that the playwright wasn't a playgoer, had never written a play before, finished this one in less than five weeks while on the run from authorities (because he needed money), and was 22 years old. Poor guy died of typhoid when he was 23. I guess the play is considered the first "modern" play ever, because it uses all these modern ideas for the first time, like the idea of the antihero and uses minimal stage setting. I'm excited - this is my last semester here, and I was worried that I wouldn't be able to take part. :D

Mom and I drove out to Ithaca, NY on Saturday to deliver my brother's new car to him. But since Laura and Dad had work, there would be no one at home to puppysit Sunny, our new Puggle, so we had to take him with us. It was his first long car trip, and he got carsick in his crate a few times on the way there. I drove four and a half hours out there with him in the back, following Mom in Nate's new little Saab, freaking out whenever she stalled it and couldn't start it again - one time at a tollbooth. 0_o When we got there we hung out a little bit in the town and got pizza, but we couldn't stay long because poor Sunny was trembling and nervous the whole time unless Mom was carrying him and covering his ears from the noise of a band that was playing nearby. Mom and Nate stepped into a store to see if they had something, and I stayed with Sunny outside, where several people (including some cute college boys) stopped and fawned over him for a while. When Mom and Nate came out, she said that they had run into one of Nate's friends in the store and chatted for a bit. Afterwards he said to Mom, "Did you see that guy she was with, her boyfriend? That's Lindsay Lohan's brother." !!! I guess he also goes to Ithaca and is a pretty nice guy - kind of quiet and totally separated from all the drama the rest of the family is going through. Nate says he's been over to his house a few times when he and his roomates have held parties there. Weird.

Then we drove all the way back home with Sunny on Mom's lap the whole time in the passenger seat, so he wasn't as scared going back. I was exhausted when we got home - driving is more tiring than I had thought. Fell asleep around 10.

This was grabbed from nepenth who grabbed from mneiai:

1. Go to fanfiction.net.
2. Search in Harry Potter fanfiction for summaries with your name in them.
3. Post. Try not to snicker.

( Under the cut! )

*snicker*

Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if people looked on the outside like how they felt on the inside. I've felt really weird the last few days, and I don't think it's something like PMS or depression. I think maybe it's because I've realized things about myself that I hadn't known before, and I've finally made a decision about my future, when I've been unsure about it all through college. The things I've realized about myself aren't really positive, but at least I know now and I'm ready to try and change them. And I realize going back to London will be difficult, and probably won't be for a long time, but now I know it's what I want to do most.

All through college I've had next to no confidence in my acting ability and talent, but now I realize, who really gives a fuck, except me? I've been worrying too much about what people think of me, especially the head of my department, but how much should one person's opinion really matter in dictating what I want to do? I realize a career in theatre is potentially devastating to my self-esteem, if I can't find work, but when I am working, it doesn't feel like work at all - it's like I'd rather do nothing else. I've decided that a life of highs and lows must be much more interesting than a life of monotony.

Maybe it's because I've had so much time to myself the last few weeks that I'm delving this deeply into things. I've done pretty much nothing but work, researching grad schools, and vegging out. Maybe I'm getting cabin fever or something.

I also think another reason why I'm feeling so odd is that a couple days ago my grandmother and I found a box of old photographs at her house of when we all were little. The pictures aren't any newer than 1991, so I was pretty much reminded all over again of what my childhood was like, before my brother and sister were born, and when all three of us were little. There was a lot of playing outside, our parents reading to us before we went to bed, holidays, vacations, and spending time with the rest of our family. Since a lot of the pictures were ones my grandparents took of us, I noticed that the one, single place that hasn't really changed since we were little is their house. It looks *exactly* the same now as twenty years ago, except there are less toys on the floor, and my grandparents have gotten much older. I can step into their house now and can easily be transported back to childhood, which I never really realized before I actually saw photographs of it.

I also found some pictures of us in the hospital the day after my sister was born. I remember it vaguely - my brother, dad, and I went to visit my mom and baby sister in the hospital - August 22, 1989. Mom's bed was against a wall. We snuggled in with her and the baby, and she let us hold her. There's one picture especially that gets to me - Nate, three years old, is sitting on the bed with Laura laid in his lap, and I'm snuggled under the covers of the bed with just my face showing. Maybe it's because it's literally the first moment we're all a family together or something. Maybe I'm just being too philosophical. ;)

I want to go back and study in England. Only I want to do it right this time - pick out a school with a *really good* theatre/literary program, take classes that will be *really useful* and that I'll *really enjoy*, and live in a flat this time, with other people, instead of a 10x10 dorm room all by myself. What got to me most last time was that since I was living by myself, I would get really really homesick. Also, since I didn't have a job over there, I ended up having basically no money and a large credit card bill.

Wow... surprising how determined you can get about something all of a sudden. I really really wanna go back!

1. When Harry saw Sirius again at Grimmauld Place
2. When Sirius is showing Harry his family tree, saying that when this is over they could be a proper family (ME: "No they're nooooooot!")
3. When they first see the Veil in the Department of Mysteries
4. When Sirius dies (o' course)
5. Harry's crazy Voldie-induced flashbacks (with Sirius from POA, and falling into the Veil)

But it was a very good movie, btw. :)

I guess a few things have happened lately, but I've just been too lazy to go here... But I have fifteen minutes until dinner, so I'll do it now!

I was invited to a party in Boston Saturday, at Jake Ivory's Piano Bar. One of the girls in MTG won a party there during Senior Weekend for a hundred people, so she just invited everyone she knew on Facebook. It was pretty fun - I went there early with a couple other theatre people, and we walked around Boston for a few hours before the party. We visited the swankiest mall I've ever seen before - it had places like Sak's Fifth Avenue, Gucci, Louis Vuitton, and a ton of other stores where people virtually wear designer clothes and tuxes to work. And there I was wearing Old Navy and Target. ;D It was fun looking around, though.

Jake Ivory's is right in back of Fenway Park, so the line of buildings it was in had chunks of concrete missing from places, from home runs hitting them. There are three differet bars inside, with a stage in the middle of a big room with two pianos that people play - everything from fifties music to Snoop Dog. It was friggin' awesome, but as we kept drinking we paid less attention to the music and more to focusing on standing on our two feet. I mixed way too many drinks that shouldn't be mixed, and paid for it by being extraordinarily sick on the way home. It's now forty eight hours later, and I'm still exhausted.

I still felt sick this morning at work, but luckily if you work the early shift, you get to spend an hour and a half just tidying up and not dealing with customers. The manager this morning was new, though, and had no idea what she was doing or what to instruct everyone else to do. Once the midshift manager showed up, she sent me home early, and I wasn't arguing.

I've spent far too many days stuck at home. Jess, what would you say about going to Six Flags someday soon? Or to the beach? Or even hiking somewhere? Or visiting Boston? Let me know what you're up for!

Merlin's pants!

( FOR THE LOVE OF PETE, DON'T READ UNLESS YOU'VE FINISHED IT! )

So, what do we have to wait for now? Hopefully JKR will go with her idea and publish an encyclopedia on HP with every detail she didn't mention in the books. And she said she wanted to keep writing and publishing stuff, even if it wasn't HP.

Tomorrow will be the first Saturday in ages that I've had off for no reason at all, since I quit the barn. It feels... odd. Like I need to get a lot of stuff done. But I need to stop by the barn anyway to pick up my paycheck from the last two weeks (both times Sarah wasn't there and there wasn't enough cash for me after paying the others). So I'll take my leave and head to the mall, I guess, to see what my schedule at VS is like. I went out last week and got a bunch of black clothes, including a $50 blazer.

Today was also the end of the first session of the summer theatre program. It was a little sad, because a lot of the kids will be too old to come back next year, and they said they saw me as one of their own. Which might not have worked so well when I wanted to get them to do something, but we had a lot of fun. The whole group had this pirate fixation, so today we all dressed like pirates and made cardboard swords. And I also got paid. :)

I got a navel piercing! Jess and I hung out in Northampton on Thursday, and at her suggestion we went in to Lucky's to look at jewlery, and I got all excited and decided to get it pierced right there! It's Amethyst, my birthstone. Very pretty. My mom thought it was cool, but my dad's not too happy. There's not much he can do about it though, and he'll get over it. :)

My notice has also been given at the barn, and I only have one day left, seeing as Saturday is training day at Victoria's Secret. I reminded my boss that I couldn't be at work Saturday, and she made a dissapointed face and said, "That really sucks, that's the day of the show." I just made a dissapointed face back, as if to say, "Yeah, it does suck, doesn't it?" *giggle* It's not like she can fire me or anything. I guess she's really bummed that I'm leaving, but she says she understands. I'm not too broken up about it. *runs around outside with shirt over head, yelling "FREE AT LAST! FREE AT LAST!"*

Today was also my first day at Williston Summer Theatre. It's a large group of seventeen kids this session, but I think it'll be cool. I get to play theatre games with them when I feel like it, or officiate if I don't. And at lunch break we play hide and seek and Mafia (Hanging out with little teenagers makes me feel like one.) This is my third year there, and it's the only job I've ever overtly *liked*. Even though it pays crap. But hey, if I wanna be an actress, I have to get used to living on a small paycheck!

AAAAAND we got a puppy! Ever since two of our dogs passed away in December, my mom has been wanting a new puppy, and she finally bought a Puggle last week. She's named him Sunny, and he is freckin adorable. He's got a beagle body, ears, and nose, and pug eyes, wrinkles, and curly tail. He already knows his name and comes when you call him (most of the time). Dad's already warming up to him, which happened quicker than I expected. Everyone else loves him, but it's very exasperating at times. Mom says it's exactly like having an 18-month old baby again. Except he has kennel cough, even though he was vaccinated for it, and sounds like he's caughing up furballs all the time.

Yaaaay! I'm giving my notice at the barn tomorrow!!!!

(Wish me luck. Meep.)

It's a big pay cut, but hopefully I'll be working more hours. And hopefully me working at Williston isn't going to screw things up...

I came home from work early today because I'm sick, yet again. Mom thinks I might have pneumonia, so I'm going to the doctor's later. But this morning before I left, my boss took me aside and told me that she'd had reports that I'd been snippy to the new girl, and to a girl who used to work at the barn. I would never say anything to anyone to hurt them intentionally, so when she told me this it was like a smack in the face, even though she was nice about it and didn't seem angry at me personally. But since she's heard this from two different people, I wonder how many other people think I'm a bitch and haven't talked to me? I feel like apologizing to everyone I've ever met or spoken to now.

But the thing that really bothers me is that I worked for almost a year with someone who I tried to like, but would get more than snippy with me, who would generally terrify me, and who screamed at me and called me names at times, but I never told anyone about it. I don't know if I was trying to be professional and not taddle-tale, or if I was too afraid to bring it up to my boss, but I worked like that for ages and never told anybody. And now I get a talk from my boss saying I need to check my attitude when I've been trying to be as nice as I can and supervise everyone at the same time, since I know what it feels like to work with someone who terrifies you and makes you feel worthless and stupid, while at the same time, I'm not used to being in charge and telling people what to do! I am so done with this job. I wish Victoria's Secret would call me back. And I wish I knew why it is so hard for me to talk to people.

I was doing some family geneology research online, and I found out completely by chance that I'm directly descended from the Ardens and Webbs of Warwickshire in Shakespeare's time. There were a lot of cousins marrying which confused me for a while, but I finally figured out that Robert Arden and Mary Webb, Shakespeare's grandparents are my Great x 12 grandparents! A lot of the Webbs and Ardens married each other, and in fact, Shakespeare's parents were first cousins.

But isn't that insane?? I've loved Shakespeare since high school, and now I find out that we're cousins however many times removed!! I wish I'd known that when I was actually in England.

It was awesome awesome awesome! Three hours long, but never boring. And it never took itself too seriously, which made it work. I loved how we actually see into Jack's mind a bit now. And how corny Orlando Bloom is. I said to Jess, who I saw it with, "Orlando seems to get just a little bit better with every movie he does. Maybe by the time he's 60, he'll be really pretty good." AND it left room for another sequel. Yipeeee! I'm going to have to watch it again. So do you. Go and watch it. Now!

And be sure to stay through the credits for an extra extra extra special scene at the end. :DDDDD

So, I hate directing. Apparently my scene is completely wrong the way I'm directing it, and since no one wants to do this project, everyone is sucking! I like my actors and I like my play, but I just CAN'T COME UP WITH GOOD IDEAS! Jack basically re-blocked my whole scene, and the exact same thing is happening now that happened with the ten minute play I directed before - it's turning into his project, not mine!! I'm just about ready to cry, not only because of that, but also I'm sick of my job, I have next to no money after working there for three years, I have a million things to pay for once I get out of school, and I'm going to have a degree that I have no idea what to do with! Either go to gradschool for Library Science and start all over again, or go to gradschool for Acting and live paycheck to paycheck, and be unemployed when I can't get work! Gah!! I hate this! And on top of all that, a girl I had class with all semester died yesterday, and they won't tell us why.

I'm just going to have to watch Pride and Prejudice again. *Go to happy place, go to happy place...*

So after working at the horse farm for more than three years, I FINALLY was there to see a foal born! All I can say is: whoa... that is one big baby. It's a filly, Gypsy Drum, black and white paint with the coolest facial markings I've ever seen... exactly like Phantom of the Opera, with a half black, half white face, black around the lips and eyes. And she's HUGE, even for a draft horse baby! My boss hasn't decided on a name yet. AAAANNND, her sire was once owned by Queen Elizabeth II. So how 'bout them apples??

Other than that, nothing much is happening. This is the last week of school, and Friday is my final performance where I'll be acting and directing two seperate Sam Shepard scenes. Everyone in Directing has decided that this is the I Don't Care project, but I care much more about acting than directing. Sooo.. that'll be going on. I also think I want to start looking for a second job. Bleh.

you are mediumslateblue #7B68EE

Your dominant hue is blue, making you a good friend who people love and trust. You're good in social situations and want to fit in. Just be careful not to compromise who you are to make them happy. Your saturation level is medium - You're not the most decisive go-getter, but you can get a job done when it's required of you. You probably don't think the world can change for you and don't want to spend too much effort trying to force it. Your outlook on life is bright. You see good things in situations where others may not be able to, and it frustrates you to see them get down on everything.

the spacefem.com html color quiz

Seems pretty spot-on to me...

I haven't posted a thing on here since I was in England last year. And now..... I have nothing to say!

Um, I've done absolutely nothing today, and most likely won't until I'm called for crew tonight. Last night was opening night for Wintertime, and afterwards we went to Applebees, as is always the tradition after opening night. I'm not sure about tonight... I might just come home and start work on my last project for Acting II.

Yeah, I lead an action-packed life.

I AM looking forward to this summer, though. I've got a job at Williston Summer Theatre again, I'll be buying a car, and getting some pet fish. And hopefully Jess and I will take a road trip down to Mystic, Rhode Island or thereabouts... or maybe even NYC. Who knows?

This is also the time in my life that I need to decide what the hell I'm going to do once I graduate next fall. That's still up in the air.

So, just in case I don't get around to posting again till next year, toodeloo!

I can't believe it. My entire life of the last four and a half months is now packed into four suitcases. My room looks so bare... I was invited to go see a movie tonight with some people, but they never showed up. It's quarter past eleven now, so I guess we won't be!

Dad and I went and saw the reconstructed Globe theater this morning. It was really cool how they rebuilt it and stuff, but I didn't get that chilly feeling that I got when I went to the National Portrait Gallery Shakespeare exhibit. I think it's because they added so many modern things around it, I didn't get the feeling that I was stepping back into the past, and Shakespeare himself performed in that spot, and people performed his plays there hundreds of years ago. There was also an exhibition nearby, which was really cool. They had all these really old sound recordings from like, the 1880s of famous actors and actresses delivering famous lines of plays, and then we could compare their style to actors like Judi Dench and John Gielgud more recently. Those old actors years ago sounded rather corny and over the top, I found.

So then I came back to my room, and Dad went off and did his own thing for the rest of the day. I'm sick right now, by the way, so I came back to my room and took a nap for a while, then started packing. Somehow I managed to squeeze mostly everything into my bags, though I'm going to have to leave my sliverware and dishes. :( And some other things I've bought over here that I have at home, like a toaster. I'm really dissapointed about leaving my water-boiling-jug-thing, because it's been so convienient! Just fill it, plug it in, switch it on, and thirty seconds later, boiling water! Maybe I can see if Dad has room in his bag tomorrow.

So we're leaving here about noon tomorrow. Our plane doesn't leave until about 6:30 tomorrow night, but we have so much stuff to bring with us, we want to give ourselves plenty of time. I don't think I'm going to miss anyone terribly, except maybe this girl Kiran who I've made friends with. But she's coming out later in the summer to visit a friend in New York, and on her way there, she'll be staying at my house for a while. I'm going to miss the setting of London most of all, I think. Where I live isn't that great, but central London is one of the coolest places on earth, I think. I'm going to miss the history, the culture, the people, the accents... not the weather so much. For the last week or so the weather's been cold. And rainy. I don't mind rain - I like it, in fact - but this cold in late May? Ergh.

Jess, how'd you like to go to New York with Kiran and me? We can take a train from Springfield, I think! While Kiran is with us we can show her around places like Northampton and stuff! Have you discovered any new cool places since I've been gone? I can't waaaaait to see you!

I just finished my last paper that I need to hand in. Wow... another year done.

Dad's coming tomorrow night. I'm going down to Heathrow to meet him. I hope he doesn't cry again, like when we said goodbye last time... that freaked me out. When I met Mom at the airport last month, she dropped all her bags when she saw me and started shrieking "Yay!" I could hear everybody around us going, "Aw!" Hopefully Dad won't do that....

We're going to have about five days to do stuff and get ready. One of those days we're going to take a train down to Dover Castle to see... the castle... and the white cliffs of Dover. Though when I was there last time on the Europe school trip, on the way to France across the Channel, they looked more green than white to me. Must be algae or something.

I've got one of those under the skin pimples on my chin. It sucks because I can't do anything about it - it just is there smirking at me in the mirror. Grrrr....

I went out and saw The Da Vinci Code last night with some people. It was pretty good - really interesting and intriguing, but it seemed to go on forever! Whenever I thought it was at the end, it just kept going. I'm going to have to read the book when I get home. I don't know why I haven't read it yet, actually...

Nothing much else is happening. I think I'll make some sasuage rolls.

Wow, it's been a while since I updated. So... what has happened since April 25?

First of all, the reason I haven't been around is that at university over here, every course sets all their papers due for the same day, May 15. So I had like, six due today. I got them all done, but only because I unplugged the cable cord from my laptop, preventing me from getting distracted online. I also stayed up all night finishing my last one. It was for Shakespeare, and I had to talk about his use of soliloquy in Macbeth and The Winter's Tale. Phew. That's why I feel like Riverdancin'.

But that's over and done with, so I'm back in my room, feeling a bit tired. And someone's yanked the door off the girls' toilet in the bathroom next door, so that's nice.

So what's been happening here... I'm going home June 1. June 1! That's like a friggin' week and a half! I can't believe it's that soon already. Dad will be coming out May 26, we'll do some fun stuff for a few days, I'll pack, and he'll help me bring my stuff home. I have crazy mixed feelings about it. It'll be wonderful to be home and see everyone again, and sleep in my own bed again, but I've fallen in love with London too. Even my little ugly-colored cinder-block room - it's been my home for five months. I know I'll be coming back eventually, though, so I'm trying not to be too sad. And a girl I've made friends with is going to New York to visit another friend of hers, so she'll be staying at my house for a while! Yay! A London friend! Jess, we're going to have to figure out cool things to do.

A scary thing happened a while ago, though. A girl in the halls got *raped*, right down the hall from my room! I'm not sure if she was actually raped, or if he just tried to do it, but there were tons of police here all day. Apparently it happened in the wee hours of the morning. There are a bunch of Cypriot guys who live down the hall, and one of them had his friend over, and they were all drinking and getting high in the common room. Earlier that night I had gone down to get a soda from the machine, and this guy came up to me and started talking to me in a really "familiar" way. He asked where I was from, and said that I should go visit him in Cyprus. I'm pretty sure this is the same guy. Fucker. And the girl was a girl I used to hang out with a lot when I first got here. I think they were both really drunk, and they were hanging out in this guy's friend's room for some reason (to smoke a joint, I think). Anyway, the security man called the cops, and the guy was arrested. When I left the next morning at 11:30 the room was taped off and there was a policewoman sitting outside the door. Scary stuff. The girl is all right, though (I think). I didn't talk to her about it. She didn't go to the hospital or anything, so I'm assuming she's okay. We haven't talked much lately anyway.

So a couple of weeks ago a bunch of us from the halls went into central London for this girl's birthday. We went to this weird cocktail bar called Freud, which was in some kind of cellar. I tried a Cosmopolitan, which was okay. I then tried some of someone's Ladyboy, which I liked better, but when I went to get one they were out of tequila. So I got a White Russian instead. I'd forgotten how good those are... like some kind of heavenly iced coffee... Then when the bar closed, we found a club. It was in the middle of the week, so it wasn't crowded, but the music sucked. It was kinda okay though, because we were all together in a big group, drunk and happy. *Sigh* A girl got her phone stolen, though.

And last week I went with an American girl to go see a show in Picadilly Circus. I have mixed feelings about this girl. She's not a bad person, but she's *annoying* sometimes. She's not that smart, and she has a laugh that makes me want to kick a cat. She also IM's me every moment I sign on to the internet. In my Directing Skills class, I had to direct a ten-minute scene, and I didn't know anybody to use for actors. I'd heard that she really wanted to be involved in something like that, so I asked her, and she was all for it. But because of Easter break and stuff, we had like, no time to rehearse. I'd given her and this other guy lines to memorize, and he did a fantastic job with his. She, though she told me that she had learned them all, kept calling for her lines DURING THE PERFORMANCE! I was so embarassed that I just whispered them, and then she was like, "What?" Broke completely out of character, completely inappropriate for a final presentation for a class. I probably should have told her this, but it never occured to me that she would do it. Oh well, just as long as I don't fail, I'll forgive her.

ANYWAY, this girl had gotten tickets to Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?, so we went to go see it last Wednesday. It was with Kathleen Turner (Chandler's dad on Friends, and the voice of Jessica Rabbit, which I never knew before!) and Bill Irwin (Cindy Lou Who's dad in How The Grinch Stole Christmas, and a bunch of other things). It was phenominal. I wasn't familiar with the play beforehand, but I thought they did a fantastic job. I feel so stupid, since I'm a drama student, and that's the only show I've seen so far!

What else has been happening... I've become hooked on Agatha Christie. Old-school murder mysteries from the 20's, 30's, 40's, 50's, 60's, 70's... the woman came out with at least a book a year since like 1926. Good stuff. And the nice thing is, my mom has been reading Agatha Christie since she was 14, so I can talk to her about a book I'm reading at the moment, and she'll go, "Oh yeah, that's a great one," and then tell some historical fact about it. She's read pretty much all of her books (there's like, 76) at least fifteen times each. And I guess my grandmother liked Agatha Christie as well, and used to talk about it with Mom, so the tradition has been passed down, I think.

Well, now that my work is done, I don't know what to do. I feel kinda bored. Meh.

Later!

*edit* Oh yeah, I forgot! This morning I went to Trent Park campus to turn in my pantloads of papers that were due today. I was walking towards the library to print them out, and I passed the swimming pool. This has been closed up since I've been here, and is full of leaves and things, but isn't covered up. There were DUCKS in the swimming pool! I just was walking past, and heard some quacking and splashing, and a female mallard flew out of the pool and headed down towards the river! There was also a smaller water bird in there too - black with an orange beak, I think. I wish I knew birds better. Anyways, it was super cute.